Knight In Shining Armor

Late Thursday night. 1997, August the 3rd.

Jane set up and grabbed her flashlight. The light silhouetted the mortercycle parked outside her tent. She swore she heard a sound. Had she? The grand canyon made lots of noises.

She laid back down and tried to drift off. Why did she have to go on these stupid girl scout trips with her father? She wasn’t even a scout, but the asshole made her come. She wished some knight would come along and take her to a beautiful fantasy land.

But this was the nineties. She’d have to settle for a slacker in a dodge to take her off to a party. She giggled over it then got up. Jane took off her night robe, standing naked in the moon light that slipped through the tent door. Jane had a nice figure and curves that would make an eighteen year old jealous. She was only fifteen.

Jane slipped into her Lee shorts and buttoned up her mini shirt. It was actually warm outside.

She walked through the tent flap and into the grass. They were all camping on a grassy field that was near the canyon edge. She walked over and stood on the cliff, a foot from the edge.

Jane always liked danger. She had brought boys over to do acts parents prohibited. Her father would normally come home, drunk, and she would shove the boy out the backdoor as her father entered the front.

She sat down and dangled her legs over the edge. The wall of the canyon went steep down, over a mile. But the adrenaline rush one gets from doing dangerous and exciting things is damn worth the price. Right?

She watched the birds below. A hawk chasing a sparrow? She couldn’t really tell in the dark. Why don’t she just fly down and check? Hmm. She giggled, which then the giggle turned into a laugh.

She remembered that boy a year ago. No one had found her secret, yet.

They were making love in her bed, when her started sucking on her neck. She thought at first it was a hickey, but then he started biting. He explained to her that it was transferred from his saliva to her blood stream. Now she was one of them. One of the-

Something caught her attention. A small light floated through the canyon towards her.

Suddenly a flash blurred through the whole canyon.

Jane was blinded. She lost her balance, then went tumbling into the canyon. But instead of a drop that inverted into the canyon, she left ground completely. Jane tumbled through the air for a few minutes before she was aware of her surroundings. Wings sprout from her back and she hovered.

Then she gasped. The grand canyon was gone. Only the first forty feet were up there, the rest was a giant underground crater that went for three or four miles as far as she could see in every direction.

She flew up to the edge, where it dropped inward into the crater. Below her, an illusion occurred.

Was it an illusion? On the ground, a building was growing. It grew outwards, never getting taller. Soon it had filled the whole floor, which was pretty big. Then it rose.

Jane floated, stunned. Luckily, she couldn’t move, but her wings automatically flapped. The city reached the edge, where the canyon bottom had been. Only a few feet from her.

Her wings folded and vanished, dropping her. She stood on the roof of a two story tower. Before her in the crater, was now an intricately designed city of non-Euclidean geometry. (She had learned that word from a number of science books)

In the middle of the city was a castle. Jane noticed that none of the structures had windows.

She looked up and gasped.

Dirt, rocks, and boulders were falling towards her.

She screamed and shielded her face.

She wait a few seconds. Then another few seconds. She opened her eyes and looked around. She was on the floor of the grand canyon.

What happened?!? she thought.

"Nothing but a little refurbishing of my home." a voice said. It seemed to come from behind her and from in her head. She turned. Then dropped her jaw, eyes wide and gasping.

Before her was a cloaked knight. He was saddled on one of the most beautiful white Arabian equinines she had ever seen. In other words, a horse.

"Did...all that...happen?" she stuttered.

"Yes. I hadn’t realized anyone was in the canyon." he said. The armor vanished.

Instead of a great knight before her, there was a skinny man. He got off his horse.

"I am Rilo." the stranger said, extending his hand. Jane put her hand out. But instead of shaking it, Rilo leaned over and kissed it.

"And your name, milady?" he asked, evidently European.

"Umm...oh, yeah. Jane Kirkla. In all the confusion, I almost forgot." Jane explained, then she giggled. He smiled.

Rilo stood about 6’6" and looked about one-fifty in weight. His hair flowed down to the small of his back. He was bone skinny, like he hadn’t eaten in a month. Oh his hands he wore gauntlets. They were made of a beautiful black metal, and spiked at the knuckles. In his left hand he held a staff.

Not really a staff. At the top was a skull, jaw open. It looked realistic, maybe even real. From the back, away from the skull, protruded a very sharp spike.

Near the high middle, on the front, was a foot tall ax blade. The inside of the blade base was hollow; that’s where his hand was, gripping it tightly. At the bottom of the staff, in the front, was a large ax blade. She guessed the blade was three or four feet long.

On the back of the staff, aligned with the ax blade, was a sword blade. But instead of sticking out, it ran down the back like a spine. The blade ran up from the bottom of the staff to another handle. The total length of the blade was probably three feet.

On Rilo’s chest was a giant jewel. It kept together his shirt, which was flimsy and would probably look better on a belly dancer. He wore a belt, and from the belt hung a small cloth, which hid his ‘family jewels’.

The horse trotted off and was lost from sight in an envelope of foggy darkness. Rilo put his hand out again, and Jane’s hand met it. They held hands and walked.

"Sir, is this a dream? I thought earlier about-" Jane started, but he finished off the sentence with a kiss. They stopped.

"What is this? You get your knight in armor to carry you off, and you complain? Would you prefer me to be a skater?" he asked, his hair turning green and a flannel growing around him. He put his right hand into a devil sign and held a blunt in the other hand. She grabbed his shoulder and he stopped.

"How did you-" she started. Again he finished her sentence with a kiss.

"My dear lady, I am a mage. I come from another world. When I arrived, I scanned all thoughts in this area to make sure there were no hostile beings." he stated. She stood stunned.

"What, do you not understand?" he asked, puzzled.

"Uhh..n..no, no. It’s just a lot to take so all of a sudden." she replied, still staring off like some one who’s seen a ghost.

"It’ll come to you as being reality." he stated.

"I know, but it’s just too soon." she replied softly.

"As Rick would of asked, wanna go to my place?" he inquired.

"How...Rick was two years ago." she protested.

"I said I was a mage." Rilo answered modestly, holding out an hand.

"Do you have some beer?" she asked.

"Sure." he awnsered, keeping his hand out.

"Sure. I have to figure this all out." she added.

Her hand reached out to meet his.

They held hands, and headed towards a cavern.

The morning fog vanished all traces of there presence.

The hawk caught the sparrow.

Early Friday morning. 1997, August the 4th.

Jane woke up. She slept in a huge bed. She got up and walked to the edge of the bed, and hopped off. Had he made love to her last night? She had been drinking, and couldn’t remember.

He didn’t seem to make any passes at her. But did he, when she fell asleep, come into her bed and-

"-take advantage of you? No." a voice said from the doorway. Rilo walked in and stood at a window.

A skeleton followed him in, holding a food tray. Jane looked and screamed.

Rilo caught her before she could run.

"Sssshhh!!!! It’s ok. He’s a servant." Rilo reassured her.

It took Jane a minute to calm down. She looked at Rilo and noticed he had his eyes closed.

Jane realized why. She slept naked, and forgot to dress.

She set at the bed and excepted the tray. The skeleton bumbled out, the dead never cared about nudity. Rilo was still looking out the window, into the waters of the great Colorado River.

"Why didn’t you just...have your way with me?" Jane asked through a half eaten toast.

"I could just raise a woman from the dead. Or just go make a girl do it. No, it’s not right. If an intimate relationship came to us, I would only have it as a real love." he answered.

"Ohhh..." she exclaimed.

"I thought to have a partner when traveling the world." he exclaimed.

"And I was the closest?" she asked, done with her scrambled eggs.

"No. The best. And don’t eat so fast, you’ll get sick." he replied.

"Why did you come here?" she inquired. She put on her clothes and stood next to him.

"Have you ever seen a mage?" he asked.

"I haven’t seen any mages other than you. But I didn’t see the magekult. But th-" she began.

He turned to her, eyes wide. He didn’t have a staff, but his fingers seemed anxious.

"What? Magekult?" he asked, furied.

"ohh. From the way you talk, I thought you have been here awhile, and I-"

He grabbed her by the shoulders.

"What the hell was the magekult?" he yelled. She closed her eyes.

"It...it was a year ago. A bunch of magicians popped up. The president decided to have them help the army." she replied, shaking somewhat.

"What? I was informed there were no mages here!" he protested.

"The lead mage really wanted world conquest. A spy figured out and we stopped them before any real trouble. Mages are being hunted down and killed." she replied.

Rilo’s eyes narrowed. He backed up, letting her go.

"But don’t worry, the best mage known was only about fifth level sorcerer; It’s not like-" she began. She was cut off by the tight grip Rilo had around her throat.

"How do you even know about mage levels?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Haven’t you ever read the ‘Adventures in the Kingdom of Gurvine’ book series?" she asked, gasping for breath.

He let his grasp go, and she dropped.

Rilo walked out.

Early Friday morning. 1997, August the 4th.

Bill got up and got dressed. He loved these trips. Ricki, the scout leader, was unable to bear children. They could have all the fun he wanted.

Ricki was a beautiful brown head that he met in a bar last year. He liked Ricki because she was exoticly kinky when she wanted to be.

As he exited the tent, Ricki ran up to him.

"Shit, Bill. Where the hell is Jane?" she asked. Ricki really loved Jane, treating her like the daughter she never had.

Bill never cared about Jane.

Do I look like I care? If that little sluts off having sex again, I’ll-" he started.

"No, honey. You and I know she’s in trouble. We have to find her! I’ve looked all over camp." Ricki exclaimed, then she gasped.

"Bill, honey, you don’t think she’s...fallen into the canyon?" she replied, glancing at the canyon.

"And what, taking a swim in the Colorado River?" he retorted.

Late Friday night. 1997, August the 4th.

Rilo set in his throne of bone. He pondered the current events and wondered if she was telling the truth. A Skeleton walked up to him and bowed.

"My liege, the princess wishes an audience with you." the finely clad skeleton warrior reported.

"Send her in. Oh, and Charles?" he replied, addressing the skeleton.

"Yes, my lord." Charles (the skeleton) replied.

"Remind me tomorrow to promote you to Zombie." he answered, leaning back and yawning.

The skeleton nodded and walked out.

In walked Jane, with g string and no top. Her body glistened in the candle light.

"Hello Jane, what have you been doing?" he asked, even though he knew. You have to be aware of all events in a castle when you’re a mage.

"Ahhh. After the tour Charles showed me, I took a dip in your lake." she said. She was soaked, the water-like body oil reflected light nicely.

"Oh? I do apologize for earlier. You must be careful in my profession." Rilo sighed.

"Yeah. You had to be careful to trick the general like that." she replied. Then she put her hand over her mouth. Rilo stared at her.

He leaped through the air at her from his throne, but she dodged to the left. Rilo held his gauntlets less than a foot apart, and electricity was waving between them.

Jane did have a sort of sixth sense. Rilo glared at her, she being ten feet away.

Then it happened.

Rilo shoved his hands forward, open palmed. The electricity between them shot forward like a fireball. Jane jumped, but it caught her legs.

Jane fell down, with nothing below the knees. She started screaming.

"Demon bitch, you are a spy sent to destroy me!" he yelled. A skeleton carrying Rilo’s staff trotted over and handed it to him.

He raised it high above his head, and brought the big ax blade down to split Jane’s head in half.

"Dammit! She was a good one! I’ve got to install security wards." he replied grimly, wiping the gore and blood from his staff ax.

The skeleton came back and took the staff. Rilo raised his hands and muttered a spell.

Nothing happened. He tried again. Still nothing happened.

"Take this body to my lab." he yelled. Six skeletons trotted out and carried her away.

Early Saturday morning. 1997, August the 5th.

Rilo walked down the hall, a fresh and healthy zombie in step next to him.

"What do you mean she’s gone?" the necromancer asked.

"I, truthfully, have never seen an incident like this before." the zombie said.

"Greg, what clues did you detect?" Rilo questioned.

"We found a blood trail which led away from the lab, but it stopped outside the hall. She might be in the ventilation." Greg replied.

"Ok. I want goblins sent through the air ducts to find this ‘Jane’. Try to bring her back alive." he finished.

"Why bring her to the lab?" Greg asked.

"I tried to raise her back to life. But she was already alive." Rilo replied.

"Werewolf, sir?"

"No, werewolves don’t fly. Mabye a vampire. But I suspect something more powerful."

"How’s that, sir?" Greg asked.

"Her aura’s stronger than mine."

"But you’re a Necromancer! How-"

"I know." Rilo replied, shushing Greg with a finger.

Rilo opened the door.

One of his lead scientists was leaning over and inspecting a body.

Rilo g rabbed his shoulder, and the man fell back. He had a lead pipe sticking up from the table, through his stomach, and into his throat.

He heard a gurgle from behind him and prepared another electricity ball.

He turned and fired.

The shot hit Greg in the chest, behind him stood Jane.

She jumped as the shot hit Greg. Jane’s wings popped ou t and she hovered above Rilo, growling.

He threw a field at her, like the one he had used on the general’s men, and she was caught.

Rilo grabbed a scalpel. He brought her over to the table and strapped her down. He laid on top of her, scalpel pointed at her throat.

"Dammit; I know how to kill demons, vampires, and werewolves. So don’t even think about trying any shit." he asked, not at all pleased. She calmed down and her wings vanished.

"Who and what are you?" Rilo asked, grabbing her hair.

"And how can you know my past? I never told you. What mage sent you to kill me? Was it Fren? Garglos?" he inquired.

"You bastard! I came in to your home and loved your palace. Then you kill me for repeating what Charles told me." she cried out.

"What?" Rilo asked.

"You heard me. On the tour, Charles explained all your past. Now kill me, you stupid jerk." Jane yelled. Then she cried. He dropped the scalpel.

He stared into her eyes for a while. Silence. Then he kissed her.

She bit his tongue.

"Aaaaaahhhh!!!" he yelled, slapping her. Then he paused.

"I know it’s gone to far to forgive me, but this is all a mistake." he whispered.

"So you’ll let me go?" she asked, smiling.

"Not until I figure out what you are." he replied.

"Oh, silly. Of course, I’m a vampire." she stated.

"No your not. For one, vampires don’t have wings. Second, a vampire takes at least two days to recover from what I did. Third, you’re too powerful to be a vampire." he explained.

"But that’s what my boy friend told me." she protested.

"Then...you aren’t a were-hawk. They despise blood. But..." he replied, looking off.

They sat for a few moments.

"That’s it! You’re a Kringo. Of course." he said, smiling.

"Kringo?" she asked, staring at him.

"I didn’t think there were any left in this world." he replied.

"Ohh, explanation. Let’s see. long ago, a great wizard created cross breeds of creatures. That’s were your hippogryph and pegataur come from." he explained. She closed her eyes.

"He created a type of were creature. A Kringo has a were-panther body, were-hawk wings, and a vampire’s powers." he finished, smiling.

She glared at him and smiled.

He unstrapped her from the table. Jane smiled, and forced him under her. She strapped him down to it.

"What are you doing?" he exclaimed in horror.

"You’re a mage? If I cut you up, you can heal. Right?" she sneered, picking up a scalpel.

He stared at her, but she stayed still.

"You’re right." she replied, unstrapping him. They stood up and kissed.

Greg was squirming on the floor, headless.

"Fix that, will you?" she replied.

Rilo held out a hand. Blue dust sprinkled onto Greg. Greg’s head grew back instantly, and his skin became healthy.

"My lord, thank you! How can I every repay you?" Greg asked, bowing at Rilo’s feet.

"I didn’t do it, she did." Rilo responded, jerking a thumb at Jane.

Greg turned to face Jane, and begin bowing again.

"My lord, how can I repay you?" he asked Jane.

"I know." Rilo answered.

Greg turned and faced him.

"Oh, how?" Greg asked.

"Simple, just call her queen." Rilo replied.

Jane looked at him.

"What’s that mean?" she asked.

"Simple, you now have rule as I do. Do you forgive me for the misunderstanding?" he asked.

"Yes, but on one condition." she replied.

"And what’s that?" Rilo asked, interested.

"Will you marry me?" she said. Rilo stood in awe. He was stunned, until Jane kissed him.

"Wha...why...ummm." he stuttered.

"Well?" she asked impatiently.

"Why,

"-yes. We are on track of the report. Last known position was Omega Ogre sector three." the com speaker replied.

"Ok, we have to find the shipload of ammo coming through tomorrow at oh-three-hundred hours. Do we have the fire supplies?" the commander asked.

"Yeah, all ready to go." a heavy Asian man sitting behind him answered.

The commando set at a desk, in the best HQ they could salvage. A warehouse.

Around them slept a few dozen bums and refugees from the Flesh Cleanser’s armada. He remembered the bastards when they first arrived.

"If we could only find out who this dickhole, the Flesh Cleanser, is. Does anyone even know what he looks like?" he asked. Everyone shrugged.

A bum raised her hand.

"Yeah?" the commando asked.

"I use to know him. He went by a different name then, though." she started.

The bum stopped to cough.

"And...uhhh...his name was Fren. He was my stepson." she finished.

"Tell us all about him." the soldiers replied.

Then an ogre landed through the roof and onto the bum. The ogre beat the bum with a club until she was mashed guts.

"Do you surrender, or body parts fly hither!" the ogre replied.

"I do." Rilo replied.

"I do." Jane replied too.

"And now I pronounce you Mage and Kringo, you may now kiss the bitch." the centaur preacher said, closing a huge bible.

"Rilo! Are you gonna stand there and let him call me that?" she whined.

He kissed her. Then he looked into her eyes.

"Honey, you are technically a female Kringo. Centaurs are a very bright people, but they forget to remember that some of the regular English vocabulary words are also insults." Rilo answered. She kissed him.

"And that’s why I picked you for a husband." she replied, giggling.

"So where are we going on our honeymoon?" Rilo asked. He picked her up and held her in his arms.

"Hmm. How about here?" she asked.

"Well...I don’t" he started.

"Perfect!" she replied.

They walked to they’re room and undressed.

Jane hopped into bed, and then Rilo slid in too.

"How old are you? I’m only fifteen." she said.

"Oh, I’m thirty eight." he replied, then kissed her.

She got up from the bed and walked to the window. Outside was a dark world. The underground city lay in decay and destruction.

She glanced over at Rilo. He was the best lover she had ever had, even if he was thirty eight.

But the work with magic had twisted and tortured his body. Using magic had one good side effect, though. He aged considerably slow. He was thirty eight but had a seventeen year old body.

Rilo set up. He yawned and got dressed. Then he walked over and stood next to Jane.

"What do you think, my dear?" he asked, holding her by the waist. He kissed her cheek.

"It’s dreary, dead and deteriorated." She responded., yawning. She walked over to the bed and dressed.

"Yeah, isn’t it great?" he asked. Rilo turned and walked to the wall by the door. He knocked on a little door in the wall. It slid open to reveal a counter and a room beyond the door.

"Well, why zombies and skeletons for town members? Why not some nice satyrs and nymphs? Every story I read has nice and happy towns people." she replied.

"Very good idea. Right now though, what do you want for breakfast?" Rilo asked.

"Well," Jane answered, walking to stand by the window.

"Speaking of nymphs..." a cute, nude, blue haired twelve year old replied, popping up and resting her arms on the counter.

Jane stared at her. Rilo rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Oh! You have another local tramp, honey, or is this from your own world?" the nymph asked. Then she giggled.

Rilo grabbed her by the arm.

"I’d like you to meet my wife. Now can I have some eggs?" he replied to her sternly.

He let go of her arm. The nymph gasped and blushed, lowering behind the counter.

She came back up with a T-shirt and a plate of toast.

"Here, my lord." the Nymph stated, handing Rilo his plate.

"Now Sara, you can relax. She’s not the queenly type. No, you can act like a person." he replied, retreating over to the bed to eat.

Sara turned to Jane, pulling off the shirt.

"I did feel kind of ridiculous in clothes. So what do you want?" she asked Jane.

"Pizza, pepperoni only." Jane asked.

"Oh, a local? Coming right up." the nymph replied, pulling up a huge tome.

Sara skipped through the pages until she found pages with pictures of pizza on them.

She put her fingers on the page and stated "Fravoloni Pastromia Pizzeria Pepporonia".

A Pizza appeared before her on the counter.

"You’re lucky that I studied earth cooking. A normal person would of said ‘Pizzeria Pepperonia’. They would of ended up with dough and pepperonis, and no sauce or cheese." Sara replied.

Jane picked up the pizza (which was in a pan), replied a thank you, and walked back over to the bed. She sat next to Rilo and they both ate.

After they finished, Rilo waved his hands and the plates vanished.

Jane realized he had teleported the dishes to Sara’s little kitchen, because she then heard a mumble come from the kitchen next-door.

"I need to hire me a dishwasher." Sara complained, accompanied by sounds of running water.

"Well, why not just buy a dishwashing machine?" Jane replied.