JOHN of the seven collages which locate around the world did come to mine house to discuss thee end, THEE END.
Mine mind was boggledeth, as thee end meant thee Legendary Show whicheth whose name referreth to a park opposite North would be canceled. That was insane!
And from John, who is thee faithful witness, to thee dancing dead whose bones did eerily rattle, to thee Prince who married the daughter of thee King of thee earth, and thee blessing of thee ones who selleth ice creams from inside a truck, did come a great belching from his previously dranken penta-pack (becauseth thine dealer had jippethed John one alchoholic bottle).
And then hath John made brownies for thine own consumption, but mine face told John of mine own hunger. He did look upon my sorrowed state, and he did toss me a brownie. This did mighty to increase mine attention, for thee eadiable was beyond mine Welfare budget.
Behold, sayeth John, He cometh with clouds underfoot, and every one shall see him, even they who had bought his dolls. And all who have not access to electronic entertainment will wail, Amen.
I am Alpha and O-meg-a, the beginning and the end, sayeth He to his people from atop his cloud, which is, and which was, and which is to be, thee title of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones’ next big song.
I John, who am also your greatest fan, gladly recieveth thy offers with love, John replieth to He that came bearing clouds upon his feet. John courteously grabbed thee gifts from He that came bearing clouds on his feet.
I was now to see this as he told it, for mine Elixir now was working. Thine gifts which to fill mine eyes were 32 dancing chickens, an espestas inlaid toilet seat, and a vibrating couch. He looked upon us who had gathered upon his arrival, then he spake:
Saying, I am Alpha and Omega, the first and thee last. What thou seest, record upon VHS, and send it to all who do not see it so they may rejoice and sorrow simitaniously. These shall be worshipped by foe and friend alike.
And I turned to see the voice that now spoke, and I saw three figures of incredible power.
And behind of the three figures stood one like unto the son of Berry White, clothed with the garment of one who doth cooketh, and a girth of one who is well fed. Behind him did stand another.
His head and his hair were white as wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were covered by glasses.
And his hand bore a cloth man whose hat did covereth his eyes; and his voice did came not from him, but from thee cloth man.
And he had in his other hand a book, which whose words did control all three powerful figures and even He who came bearing clouds on his feet; and out of his mouth went a sharp two-edged sword whose vengeance asketh those who to feel it an order to go to the bottomless pit; and his countenance was as the rainbow shineth in gayness.
And when I saw him, I fell to my knees to woreshop those who I did realize I was now before, and He laid his hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am thee first and thee last:
I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys to life and thee girl’s locker room.
Record these things which thou hast seen, and thee things which are, and thee things which shall be hereafter;
The mystery of mine death likely doth puzzle many, for mine reincarnation is constant as I do go unto death many times. I am Alpha and Omega, thee beginning and thee end. I am the eternal one.
I then saw many who did stand behind these powerful figures and He who came bearing clouds upon his feet did explain: those are they who have not been in your time. The appear between your time and this time. Know that they are as important as I and the five others.
Then there did come a great realization of what did now occur before me. I did now bear witness to thee last one to be, of thee show know by a title know to refer to a park opposite North. This was thee end, for when it did end, Armageddon was sure to start.
But He who came bearing clouds upon his feet and an orange snow suit did not go unto death, and there was no calling of basterds. This struck thee people as strange for this had never happened before.
But before there was to be an ending to thee episode, mine Elixir did wear off, and I did a mighty wondering. Was all nations to be addicted to this show whose name referred unto a park opposite North, so as to start Armageddon when is was to end?
Rehab I did attend to make mine craving for Liquid Solvent Dilute non-existent.
This was to be thee fate of thee world? I did worry so. Mine realization was, now, that was a prophecy, not written in stone. I did bid farewell to John, who had watchethed mine house whilen mine own self did see help. I tell you this revelation so thou may change thy actions, and prevent Armageddon. Fare well, and much luck!
Blessed art those whose heed mine prophecy, even if it came unto me under an influence of Liquid Solvent Dilute.
Goodbye, this is Agent Simon to sign off. I do hope you enjoyed this prophecy.
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